whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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