I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
