help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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