home. puking in laundry basket.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
