trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
