I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
