Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
