Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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