he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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