and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
