happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
so much tequila, so little girl.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
