it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
