brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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