I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
