how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
