We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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