Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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