why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
