I wish my penis had an off switch
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
