What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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