I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
