Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
