I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
