she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
