you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
The air taste purple.
Randomize
