If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
