you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
