I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
