...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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