i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
