i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
