he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
