Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
