Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
