Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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