am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
