she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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