please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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