i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
