ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
