just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
