super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
