I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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