i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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