doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
