those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She's like a pop up book from hell.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
