doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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