Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also, beer. Big fan.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
