apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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