Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
There are leaves in my underwear?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
